haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize