Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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