I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
