Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
