And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
