I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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