Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
