I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
