she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
