You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
