so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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