you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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