I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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