garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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