Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
