careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
