he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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