i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
