If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
