Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize