found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize