Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
