Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize