The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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