Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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