Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
