I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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