Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
