gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
