Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
