Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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