he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
