I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
