He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize