Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
