I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
