He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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