so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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