Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
