i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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