yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
