I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
