Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize