id be glad to
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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