it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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