Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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