i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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