omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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