I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
do nipples grow back?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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