We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
