You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
