I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
