I am midnight drunk by noon
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize