And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
