Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
