Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
