the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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