Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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